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Intimacy on your own

Intimacy is important in relationships. However, being single is a good time to think about what you would like in a relationship and get to understand what type of ‘relationship style’ you have.

Some things to think about are:

  • How do you feel when you are sad, a little depressed, in need of some comforting and reassurance? Are you able to let yourself be dependent and to receive some nurturing? Does this need to be balanced in your relationship, or does one partner need to be the ‘strong one’ who never shows any vulnerability? If so, is this really how you want things to be in your relationship?
  • How do you feel about yourself? –  when you’ve taken a bit of a knock and are feeling small and ‘put down’, or when you’ve achieved something that makes you feel good about yourself.
  • How do you feel about sex?  What you like and don’t like in your sex life and how your sexual relationship could be made more enjoyable for you. For more information about negotiating sexual activities click here
  • Do you want a partner who tells you how they think and feel, or would you prefer to have to guess and ‘mind-read?’ Are you able to be open with a partner, or do you feel that a partner would not be able to accept some of your feelings?

To find out what your ‘love style’ is click here

Being single can also help you work out what you like in sex. There are a number of things you can do to work out what sexual activities you think you would enjoy. One of them is doing the ‘Want, Will, Won’t’ activity, while this activity can be done with a partner – you can also do it when you are single to think about what types of sexual activities would turn you on For more information about negotiating sexual activities click here

Another activity you can do to understand what type of sex you would enjoy is to masturbate. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of joking and stigma about masturbation. However, it is important to remember that it is a normal and natural part of life. For more information about masturbation click here

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Masturbation - Dr Doe


Masturbation is all about being comfortable with touching your own body, allowing your genitals to get used to being touched and your self care down there. It is important to understand what you like by yourself – so it is easier to negotiate this with your partners. Click here to find out how to negotiate …

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